Tuesday, 6 November 2012

Fool


I forgot my place, the rules and behaviours i learnt before, clouded by my happiness once more.

Now with a hurtful and deeply wounding emotional pain, feeling even lower that its all due to me again. Down, down, i go. Like water down the plughole. Further down into myself with tears and silence.

Never to go up again or the down will return once more. A fool, that is what i am. Happiness is to be care-free. And that
            can
               never,
                      ever,
                           be me.

Tuesday, 24 July 2012

The Migrainee's Prayer

Silence behold me, take away each moment filled with sound, halt the world and withhold it's breath.

Numb thy pain, or intensify it to insanity.

Blind us of vision, the tormenting and disturbing rips of our minds.

Pour from my head your crippling hold.
Curse you in those pain ridden depths that hide your intentions.

With every motion we beat this devil's drum. Revolting in our own pain. Struggling to fight.

With shadows' evaporation, humanity resurfaces. For what has come, will come again, peace is found before each violent blow.


Friday, 11 May 2012

One step forward two steps back.

This would be a chapter title in my dual biography with my partner. The things we have come through, the wave of problems we continued to face. Life mocking us with new "life challenges" and through it all we are still strong and together. We are each others' reason for pushing on through. Our shared strength to continue and holding each other up when we buckle under the pressure. And I would never change it for something easier, or less hassle. My love is my reason, and that is why our struggle is far more than worthwhile, it's the path to my all.

I love you VDB.

Saturday, 4 February 2012

What are you wearing? And how much did it cost?

My eyes have been opened, there is a layer that I now see which is over the clothes you wear, but under your personality. It's clearly visible to me and disgusts and revolts me. There is hardly anyone without it, and maybe, I hope there are some with faded versions.

Each of us, including myself is covered with blood. As a child and until now I saw this only on those that wore furs, fluff wasn't cute, it signified a murder and the wearer flaunting the dead carcus about their shoulders. But now...now I see it expanded.

To all you animal lovers, kind and gentle people, to all those who would never hurt a fly...(myself included)...our ignorance has caused harm to what we love and adore, we are all covered in spilt animals blood and pain. You wouldn't even have noticed, neither did I.

The moment I was awakened to this, I broke down, sobbed that whole night thinking over and over what we have allowed to happen, that i allowed to happen with my ignorance. The pain and suffering with no response of aid or care. I depised what we are, what we became and I begged and pleaded just to say how very sorry I am, how responsible i feel and failed to uphold the "humane" in human.

We all need to wake up and take a stand, this is why I want you not to continue to close your eyes but open them with me, see what I see and begin a change. Not just for one thing, but something you can apply to everything.

Have you ever done any one of the following?

Eaten fast food?
Shopped at the bigger brand stores for food?
Bought something as its cheaper and more convenient?
Bought free range eggs without checking the small print?
Bought cheap leather shoes?
Own feather filled pillows?
Use make up, lotions or home cleaning products?

Through any one of these, you have spilt blood on yourself. You bought in to something that said its ok to make an animal suffer for us, that its ok to treat animals like a food commodity and not a live being, you have said its ok to leave them to suffer. Your's and mine, our inaction to avoid these things, to ignorantly say that it's fine to behave this way because it makes our lives easier, less to think about, prioritise costs and time over any moral value.

We all need to stop being led by these companies and governments into what they want us to follow unquestionly. Mine may have awakened due to animal treatment but this will apply to anything. Where are the moral choices...don't accept what you are given, you are the one who chooses to ignore the true costs...the stains on our souls. Company acceptable shortcuts, towards animals, people in the third world, environments and slave labour. Stand for what you believe and when your time ends you can stand there without the costs of lives on your soul, for you can never undo what you have done, only change what you are willing to bear and pay for on yourself. Don't pay for companies moral choices which you don't accept.


Monday, 9 January 2012

Alien




A stranger to my own life
Mark ridden body to show my journey
Dropped into this place, with no gradients gradual
Who are these people that I recognise but don't know
or is it me that I just don't belong?
You're not wanted here outcast. You are not the same
Cry, and it will flood it all away, (and then what?) Be left with nothing.
How much more is there left to lose
when you are an alien in someone else's shoes.


To all those that are homeless, moneyless or just alone.